Misery

French writer Joseph Joubert (1754-1824) said "Misery is almost always the result of thinking". According to Einstein: ... We ourselves are responsible for our own deeds, happiness and misery. ... We are the architects of our own fate. ...

I think about that a lot. I believe that most of us are the cause of our own misery. I know, fate steps in and accidents happen, but even then, our reactions dictate our life.  I have very little misery in my life, at this moment. Any I do have is squarely my own fault. I eat too much, don't exercise enough and my clothes get tight. I stay up too late and the next day I am tired. These are little miseries. Nothing life threatening. 

I am watching friends and family deal with big miseries. Marital issues. Elderly parents. Declining economy. Difficult children. Siblings. Aging. Disease.

I think inertia, stubbornness, and fear are huge factors in our misery. We don't want to deal with something or someone, so we don't. We hate change, so we are stubborn about listening to anyone tell us what needs to be done. We are totally afraid of the future. We are afraid of really looking at our self or the situation that we are in. We are afraid of honesty.  (When you truly look, you have to see.) 

I sometimes find it really difficult to have the empathy and sympathy I need. I look at a situation and I think, "Architect of your own misery, now fix it!". Sometimes, I even say it. (I think that it is not a popular thing for me to do.) Does that mean I am harsh? Maybe, a little. I mostly think of it as reality. Even then, I try very hard to be supportive. I understand that we are all flawed and are doing the best we can at any given moment. After all, who am I to judge? Almost everything I have learned, is from my own ineptitude and misery. (And occasionally from watching others!!) 

 There is so much misery in the world. War and famine and petulance and plagues. How do my little miseries compare? They don't. I work everyday to remember that. How can I make my own little corner of the world less miserable? 

 I am trying to fix my little miseries or live with them without whining or complaining. I strive everyday to make decisions that will not make me, or the people around me, miserable, now or in the future. How successful am I? That varies from moment to moment.

 I know that a good attitude and a willing heart make the difference. Give, give, give. Give your time. Give your money. Be grateful daily. I am striving to be aware. Trying to pay attention. Trying to be nice. Trying not to be self destructive. Trying to notice that everyone has pain and misery. Trying to smile at everyone. Trying to laugh. ( Especially at myself.)


Abraham Lincoln said "We are as happy as we choose to be. " I think the same thing can be said for misery. We can embrace it, or we can do everything in our power to remove it and it's causes from our life. 

                                        I CHOOSE HAPPY.