It is what it is.

I hear the phrase"It is what it is" often. My brother with a special needs child uses it. I think people who are in a place that they cannot change, or feel they cannot change, use it. 

Lately, I have been using it. There are some things in life that just are. Obligations. Health. Relationships. 

 I find my self becoming more cynical as I age. 

Cynical, according to Webster's is:

Believing that people are motivated by self-interest; distrustful of human sincerity or integrity.
Doubtful as to whether something will happen or is worthwhile. 

  Am I cynical? More and more so.

 I am particularly distrustful of the government and their motives. 

I deal with the public every day. Many of our customers are wonderful, but there is always that group of self involved people that you have to deal with.

Do I have doubts about the whether something worthwhile is going to happen? Absolutely. I am so disappointed in our election season. Is there a solution? No. It is what it is. 

 Do the banks disappoint? It is what it is. 

 Do I have obligations in my family, my job, and my life? It is what it is. 

 Can I change the aging process? Can I change the health of my friends and family? Can I change anything but my attitude. It is what it is. 

 That seems like a flat or harsh attitude to some, but I believe it is just facing reality. I can moan, groan, bitch, and complain, or I can laugh and accept, but the situations remain the same. It is what it is.

 I understand that I cannot change the way my  family and my friends are. I can change my response to them. In a lot of cases, I just try to love and accept them and know that it is what it is. 

Do I believe change is coming? Yes. Do I believe it is positive and for the greater good? Not so much.
 Everyday I look for answers. Everyday I work for the positive attitude. 

 At what point is acceptance the answer? Do you just become more and more cynical and give up? 

Do you fight the good fight and know that often it is an exercise in futility?

                                      Mark and Lauren


Or, do you just understand that "It is what it is." and move on to the next thing.

Desiderata

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.   By Max Ehrmann -Written in 1927

I had this on a poster on my wall for many years. I think it shows me that life really does not change. We all have the same needs and goals and they are timeless. 

  
                            Today I needed this reminder. It helped.

The Messy Bits

 We all know that life is uncertain. We just choose not to think about it. Yesterday, that truth was shoved in my face again. I was boarding a flight from Indianapolis to Phoenix when my cell phone rang. It was a call from a stranger telling me that a friend of mine had been found dead in her home, apparently from a stroke.
Her name was Linda. Linda and I have a long history. I met her when we worked together in the same ICU in Houston. She dated my husbands best friend for awhile. She moved to Austin. I moved to Phoenix. We never lost touch. Every time we spoke it was as if time had not passed and we were on the same page. We weathered divorces, we both remarried, and we had children. She had one, my godchild, Carmen. She became a widow, way too young. Life went on. She had an aneurysm, but recovered. Life was good. Our keeping in touch became sporadic, but we never let too much time pass without talking or emailing to each other.
Two weeks ago, she called me. We talked a little, and she was having a hard time with her memory.I guess the stroke was near. I will miss her. She was a part of my life and a part of my history. My memories of her are good ones and happy ones. There will be no service. There will be no eulogy.  This is my tribute to her.
Again, a reminder to us all to hug the ones you love. Call the ones you cannot hug. Forgive stupidity and craziness.
I was watching a movie on the plane. One of the characters said that life is made up of the messy bits. I guess this is just one more of those bits! Until we meet again, my dear friend.

                                                  Linda and Carmen