Let Go Let God

Is the world really getting harder to live in? Are the "times" harder than before? Am I just aging and everything feels harder? 

  In the last couple of weeks, I have had two family members hospitalized. One, a parent, was made ill by bad medicine. One, a sibling, was saved by good medicine. 

  I felt a major amount of stress in both cases. I felt stress because I am 1600 miles away. I know that realistically I could do the same thing here, as there, but I just felt far away. Say a prayer, call, be available. That does not change, wherever you are.

 I am doing double duty at my job right now. More stress. It is not that I can't do it, it is just that I don't want to do the extra work.

 My friend calls me today. She has out stressed me. Her father is dying. Her daughter and son in law got put in jail today, and another son just had a baby. She wins. 

 What to do with all of this energy swirling around me?  I exercise. I walk. I lift weights. I eat. I don't sleep. 

I am trying to understand the nature of  stress. Is it just lack of control? I feel out of control in any given situation, so I call it stress and I react mentally and physically? Will my feelings change the situation? Will the situation change my feelings? Where do I drop emotions and just be? When do I just let go?

   Do I change anything by allowing myself to feel the stress? What if I ignore those feelings? Will they come back to bite me in some new and awful way? Or will they just go away?  Is life just one big reaction to everyone and everything that happens? 

What if I just stop reacting. Will that remove the stress? What if I just try to live in the moment? 

   I was taught the essence of being is Let Go Let God. I think I struggle with that concept daily. Let go of everything???? Let God do what????"?

 The concept of "living for now" is very popular in New Age circles and Eastern religion. In theory, I love it. In reality, I struggle. Do I ignore the future? If I think about the future, will it stress me? If I don't think about it, will it stress me? If I don't plan, will everything be good? 

 I understand the not living in the past thing. No good can come out of rehashing old wrongs and hurts. Some of them just need to stay buried. Forgiveness comes into play here, but that is another whole blog!

 I think silence helps shed stress. I think being alone helps. I think exercise helps. I think hard work helps. I think sharing with a friend helps. I think the ocean helps.

I know that sometimes, nothing helps. You just have to endure.