Appreciation

I know that I don't appreciate the people in my life like I should. I sometimes "wake up" and say "Oh my goodness, that person has really done a lot for me!" Or I realize that my life is richer because of someone. 

I try very hard to be a kind and responsible person. That is really important in my work environment. 

I am the boss. The person of authority. I am the bottom line and the person that accepts all the responsibility for everything and everyone. If it goes well, I am the hero. If it goes poorly, I am the bad guy or the bitch. Today, evidently, I am the bad guy.

I, inadvertently, offended one of my employees yesterday. It was put on Facebook. (No names, but an obvious comment.) I decided to go public with the apology. (I hate public issues and private apologies.)

I went in early to speak to the two people involved. I said that I was sorry if I offended her, but is was not intentional on my part. The other one said that I had offended her three times that day! I apologized to her, also. 

I was shocked. I had no idea that there was difficult energy between them and animosity towards me. After some heated discussion and some emotional energy thrown around, I am hoping it is resolved.
The bigger issue is this. I feel totally unappreciated. I am sure they do to. I am sure that again, it all boils down to control. They feel that they are not in control and that I abuse the control I have. I feel that I have a right to the control and I am generous and kind and responsive and never abusive of the that control.  I am also sure we are both a little bit right. (I know that I can never see myself as they see me.)
It also reminds me of that no matter how friendly you are with the staff, they still see you as the boss. No matter how generous you are, it will never be enough.
A tough morning. Then a ray of sunshine. A friend came by with a little gift. Just enough to say "I appreciate you."
God is good.

Why am I here?

The age old question that man has asked anyone who would listen is "Why am I here?".
 At the age of 8, I was asking the head of my Christian school. I was not surprised to learn that he did not know either.  I wrote a poem on the subject when I was in high school. I spoke to psychologists and philosophy professors when I when in college. I listened to pastors and to gurus. The conclusion I came to is the answer is whatever you want it to be. 

 Well, here I am at 61 and I have part of the answer. 

I am here to put the new roll of toilet paper on the spindle. I change the tp everywhere. In Costco, Target, and Walmart and a variety of other stores. On airplanes. On trains. In RV's. On cruise ships. In motels. In hotels. In convention centers.  In friends homes. At work. At the gym. At the spa. In restaurants.  In relative's homes. In port a potties. In my own home. 

 I realize that this means that I use a lot of bathrooms, but really? what are the odds? The hunt for the next roll of tp has become a challenge. I am, at least, trying to notice before I am in the compromising position of being totally out...... (Sorry for the visual.) When at a private residence, do I root around in cabinets for the next roll?

I hate walking in and finding the empty roll sitting on the spindle. Especially if there is a fresh roll in plain sight!

 Does the paper hang over the top or come out the bottom? I am an over the top person. My mother is a come out the bottom person. I try to notice or remember how it was (if there was any) before it ran out. 

 Notice, people. Just try to notice. It is not that hard. Or is it???

 Gotta go . The bathroom is calling!

 
Maybe this would convince people to change the roll!!